Tuesday 6th January 2009.
To many nothing more than a typically dreary day, that point in the week where you have got over the despair of having to go to work on Monday morning, realising that the next weekend is one day closer. To me this particular Tuesday, the evening in actual fact, was the last time I actively played a game on my X360. Hardly Earth shattering news to most people I know, 16 weeks of not playing video games, for a 32 year old adult? “About time” many a detractor may shout. Now, I would never describe myself as an addicted gamer, merely an avid gamer. Whilst I thoroughly enjoy spending time online with friends, taking down terrorist cells and destroying zombie hoards, I know where gaming sits in the order of things. Despite putting in numerous hours over the years I have great personal hygiene, I wash daily, I sleep, I don’t eat junk food (often) and I do set foot outside into the Real World of sunlight and fresh air. I know where gaming sits, it rides back seat to my personal life, work and responsibilities.
Coincidentally Tuesday 6th January also happens to be around the time my relationship with my partner, Miss Non-Gamer, took a VERY satisfactory step up to the next level. Times were great, Christmas went off without a hitch, I started the new year in a much happier place than I started 2008, I had a great new job – in video games no less – things surely couldn’t be any better. Or so I thought! Somewhere in the midst of the hectic Christmas festivities things had changed, Miss Non-Gamer and I no longer had a relationship, we had a life together. My Xbox was left behind, sat alone under the plasma slowly gathering dust, cut off from the rest of Live. Almost every waking minute was now spent in the company of Miss Non-Gamer or The Beast (the 4yr old terror!). Barely a second thought was given to the gaming glee I was now consciously shunning in order to spend time with my family. And it didn’t matter one bit! Admittedly it also helped that my console was several miles away and Miss Non-Gamer despises current generation video games more than anything in the universe – Mario yes, Master Chief no. Fast forward to 14th March and I had completed enough side quests, amassing enough experience points to make the next big level-up – marriage. Living together and engaged, planning to wed in 5 short months, destined to spend the remainder of our lives together, forever. The impending unity of Gamer and Non-Gamer, surely something so potentially cataclysmic had been prophesied. The question now was, does this prophecy of together forever have a place in it for an Xbox 360?
Can gaming and marriage live together peacefully?
Bravely, Miss Non-Gamer had allowed the X360 into the house a little over 2 months ago. Sitting patiently under the TV it’s true nature untapped, being used merely as a way to watch the occasional dvd, it has waited. Despite having the console sitting in front of me day-in day-out the thought of “when can I play a game on it” barely skirted my thoughts. The console was there but the controllers and games were not. And again, it didn’t matter one bit. It was one thing to have access to the console but another to find the time and opportunity to use it. As much as I enjoy playing video games I enjoy lounging on the sofa with Miss Non-Gamer more. The time has now come to begin moving the remainder of my possessions into the house, the wardrobe full of [ice] hockey jerseys, the vast dvd collection and the array of video games and consoles. The prospect of bringing even more video game related material into the home has been very much at the fore of my thoughts in the past couple of weeks. Living with someone I love so very much and bringing in even more of something she doesn’t really like just wouldn’t be fair. Any good marriage is apparently made of good compromises and as such I have decided to dispose of my console ‘collection’. Gone will be the original PlayStation, the PS2, the Dreamcast, the Atari 1040 STe, the Commodore 64, the Sega Mega CD and all their associated controllers, memory cards, VMU’s, light guns and games. And it makes me happy to be rid of them, simply because I know it will go along way to making Miss Non-Gamer happier there is less clutter sitting around doing nothing more than gathering dust. This whole chain of events and thoughts have now led me to one moment of uncertainty, what next for my gaming?
The big question is how will gaming fit into life married to a devout Non-Gamer? Even though hating most things video game Miss Non-Gamer has clearly said she doesn’t mind me occasionally playing video games. As long as they remain a pastime, nothing more than a distraction, and still riding back seat to my other priorities it shouldn’t be a problem. Now for the crux of the problem, do I WANT to find time to play video games. On the surface of it the answer is a resounding yes. The problem is the answer to the question “Do you want to spend lots of quality time with the people you love?” is also a resounding yes. What seems like a simple conundrum is in reality a complex minefield of various factors to way up. Having the time is one thing, having the opportunity is another but balancing those with getting home from work, making dinner, playing Lego, feeding the dogs and actually feeling like shooting people in the head is easier said than done. Yes there are the times when Miss Non-Gamer is watching things on TV that I have little or no interest in, furnishing me the ideal opportunity to grab some gaming but it also gives me the time to play with The Beast, or get other chores done, or simply be with Miss Non-Gamer. Which raises another issue, we might well have more than one TV but is it fair to oust Miss Non-Gamer from the comfort of the living room each time she is watching something I don’t want to? The glory days of having a TV all to myself are quite simply consigned to the history books. Add to that the fact I’d never even consider playing on the Xbox until The Beast is in slumber and the window of opportunity is open barely a crack.
The more I ponder the subject, trying to come up with a solution to the unfathomably complex problem the more I believe there simply isn’t one. This is the gaming equivalent to the elusive unifying theory of everything physicists and mathematicians have been scrabbling for for decades. An elusive nirvana where both Gamer and Non-Gamer can peacefully coexist, where there is enough time to play video games and spend time together in equal measure. I suppose the only way to truly find out if something will work is to give it a try. This weekend I will chance bringing some games into the fold. If I have opportunity to play them in the coming weeks then great, if not then so what? They’ll still be there if and when I get chance. I’m not ashamed to say I thoroughly enjoy playing video games but nor am I ashamed to say I enjoy loving my family and spending time with them. I’m confident there exists a place for gaming in my impending nuptials, where and in what form I’m not sure but we’ll see soon enough!
Watch this space!
And P.S. before you say it, I know I’m no illustrator!!
